Thursday, September 17, 2009


(kelli the high school and eternal bff christmas 2005 when times were "normal")
What is normal? Is normal doing what everyone else is doing? Is normal being like everyone else? Is normal what we do every day? Or is normal what we pretend to feel or act to keep us from really knowing ourselves or anyone else. Do we pretend to be "normal" so we don't have to feel the hard things, so we don't have to make the hard decisions? If we act normal long enough will all our hard times just disappear from memory?

Just the other day all I wanted was to feel "normal" only to realize that the normal I was striving for at that moment in my life wasn't a real feeling. Instead it is a feeling I would use to mask how I was truly feeling. I used "normal" as a band aid for any real feelings I wanted to feel. We all have moments in our lives where we wish we did not have to get up each morning and live through out the day, where getting hit by a car really does sound like a great idea. It is in these moments that we are truly growing. We are becoming a better version of ourselves. Through all the abnormal, car hitting, miserable days we need to just remember that with out them life would always make sense, and sometimes life is just better when it doesn't make make complete sense.

Everything has a Begining this is Mine.

Why would I write something that I could just say? I love talking, I often joke that i could talk to a wall. The reality is much of my growing up was spent talking to the walls. I have five brothers and for someone reason they never wanted to play house or school with me, so I made do with my imagination, or in many cases the wall. This is going to be much of the same thing me typing to a wall. I'm not funny or witty like many other bloggers. I don't have a great plan to cook all of Julia Childs recipes in a year, I don't take fabulous pictures that I want others to see in fact I generally don't take pictures at all, and I don't live a life out of the norm. What I do have is "Material". Material is all the funny, awkward, horrid, why did that have to happen to me stories that we know in twenty years or twenty minutes we will be able to laugh about. Material is all the stuff in life that sometimes just doesn't make sense. Material is everything that makes life worth living.