Normal?

(kelli the high school and eternal bff christmas 2005 when times were "normal")

What is normal? Is normal doing what everyone else is doing? Is normal being like everyone else? Is normal what we do every day? Or is normal what we pretend to feel or act to keep us from really knowing ourselves or anyone else. Do we pretend to be "normal" so we don't have to feel the hard things, so we don't have to make the hard decisions? If we act normal long enough will all our hard times just disappear from memory?

Just the other day all I wanted was to feel "normal" only to realize that the normal I was striving for at that moment in my life wasn't a real feeling. Instead it is a feeling I would use to mask how I was truly feeling. I used "normal" as a band aid for any real feelings I wanted to feel. We all have moments in our lives where we wish we did not have to get up each morning and live through out the day, where getting hit by a car really does sound like a great idea. It is in these moments that we are truly growing. We are becoming a better version of ourselves. Through all the abnormal, car hitting, miserable days we need to just remember that with out them life would always make sense, and sometimes life is just better when it doesn't make make complete sense.